#just thought i'd leave a note
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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wi papa look a thing there for me. awa.
prefacing this with a PSA that i'm going to try and keep short but basically regardless of anything i say here let me make it known that i do believe he should apologize. whether or not he's still actively saying that word in 2024 it is something he's used in the past even if he isn't performing said play anymore/saying things like that so flippantly. granted if he does apologize there's always going to be a section of fandom that's like 'he only apologized bc he got caught' yes?????????? that's what always happens????????? lbr you're not going to get on IG and announce you killed your ex two decades ago and you'll be turning yourself in when there's an entire true crime community in the depths of the internet who will dig up the cold case + the suspiciously convenient alibi anyway without you lifting a finger. politicians who get called out for blackface in college do not go around telling people they did blackface in college. celebrities who were homophobic on this hellsite in high school back in the early 10s before they realized they were gay are not going to let you know what their handle was. this is how the world works.
that being said i must confess i caught wind of the stirrings of this a bit early bc during the clusterfuck that was the Jam vs Zamasian RPF poll (i did not go in the notes. rancid ass shit) someone had taken a screenshot of a reblog made as a 'gotcha' to Zamasian voters by implying that they were anti-Black for voting for a ship featuring an actor that said the n-word in a play he hasn't performed for several decades since, with a short taped example that the general public was not going to know how to find unless they were on a mission. i poked around, saw a couple hints here and there that implied that the clip actually existed, marked that down for future ref and went about my business. disappointing? sure. run of the mill especially among people his age in the industry from that time period who are perceived to benefit from white privilege? absolutely. the former bird identified app dragging all of this back into the light (including the interview with Chris Rock. which i have not seen though there's no way it was within the last few years for AMC to still hire Eric if they had seen it. correct me if i'm wrong pls) is unexpected but tracks for the fandom on there.
generally i don't believe in cancelling someone for things they said or did more than ten years ago if they are no longer the same person they were back then. i don't believe Jacob or Assad or any one of the staff of color who may have been working behind the scenes would have agreed to continue interacting with Eric if he had the same attitude as he did when he first wrote and performed the play. i don't believe his Black comedian niece would continue to talk about him and share photos with him if he was calling her or the Black side of her family the n-word. i am willing to give the 'Eric Bogosian n-word' reply tweet he reportedly made before deleting it shortly after the brief benefit of the doubt bc it was 1. supposedly under someone else's tweet talking about the play incident and 2. i cannot count how many times i have accidently commented/almost posted something on here or YouTube or Reddit or ao3 bc i was on mobile and once the keyboard's open the app/browser flips the fuck out and puts the search bar and the comment box too close together. now if his ass shows up and shows out and stands ten toes down while he's currently on time-out or doesn't address any of this we're dealing with a different story. if more examples of him acting like this come out i'll drop him faster than you can call the election it will be that serious.
anyway for now i'm choosing to keep an eye on this while acknowledging that us Black folks do have the right to be upset and pissed as fuck. we deal with enough racism/microaggressions in fandom spaces as it is we definitely don't need new ones, and we don't need them from the past career choice of the main cast of a show a lot of us enjoy. amen
#tv: interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire#iwtv#eric bogosian#what a lovely start to the 5th already (derogatory)#i've said what i needed to say. i'm leaving reblogs on for now but if people start clowning in my notes it's going off i ain't here#for any of that shit. bitch if this was another cast member we were talking about i'd say the same thing don't get it twisted#if i even smell one of you about to be like 'i always knew—' 'i never liked him—' 'DM fans—' it's an instant fucking block. shut up.#you're not helping thank you#edit: typo located in the second to last paragraph that i just fixed..................... this is what happens when you type out what#you thought out in the shower i'm cryingggggggggggg
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CHAPTER NINETEEN ; 3/3
TRANSCRIPT:
olette: Sheri… Is it true? Has Prince Luca awoken?
sheridan: Yes, he has.
o: But was he not deemed… lost?
s: He was.
o: [purses her lips nervously]
s: Rosebud, if you have any more questions, you’re free to ask them.
o: Well, apologies for being cautious. I was locked in my room all night, so I was not sure what I was allowed to know.
s: Touché.
o: Still… I overheard a handmaid say that the Prince was poisoned by the substance used in the war. No one—well, I thought that no one ever recovered from it.
s: That is correct. But something belonged to his highness that no one else had.
o: What was it, Sheri?
s: The empress.
#regal#ts4 story#this conversation was originally between maggie and a handmaid named heather#but i thought that olette and sheridan needed some more spotlight#PLUS i think it's important to note that olette wasn't purposely leaving her sister to grieve all night by herself#maggie had her locked in her room so that she would not possibly be attacked#and she didn't want her to get involved. if luca was going to die and maggie was going to suffer the consequences#she wasn't putting olette in the picture#sheridan was dealing with eden stuff all night with the emperor so she also couldn't visit olette#(as well as guarding luca's room)#SO this is important. plus it emphasizes that even the handmaidens were all aware of what happened#and although olette doesn't understand why her sister was the reason for his awakening. she gets that her sister is powerful#and that she is capable of anything#i'd also like to note that sheridan does not know about the seam at this point#she also just believes that magdalena was the answer to their problems#FAITH IN THE EMPRESS! FAITH IN THE EMPRESS!#that last pic is her waiting on the delegation to arrrive#drinking her wine like 'no one can kill me now. i've got MAGIC on my side'
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i'm like. halfway through a walkthrough for the sh2 remake and i don't hate it so far. it's def lost some of its original charm but i think that was inevitable
#it's different in some ways but still faithful in others#i like the combat. like it's not so clunky anymore but you're still clearly not a fighter so it looks difficult#some of the environmental stuff kinda irks me? it's a nit pick probably but leaving 'sinister' notes around is just not necessary for this#game and setting. that being said most of the environments LOOK very pretty for the most part#some of the facial animations are stiff. this stands out the most by far with maria from what i've seen atm#idk overall it's okay.#i might feel differently about some stuff once i'm done. and i'd probably have different thoughts if i could actually play it myself#i'm not like. a sh superfan or purist so don't come for me fjkdslfjk#also love how james never actually looks happy to be talking to anyone even when approaching them JKDLSFJDKLF
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yeom mijeong put it into words so well for me. i'm a good person i won't ask to be loved. asking for love implies you're difficult to love because you're a bad person, so you ask for it. being a good person makes you lovable enough to be loved by someone, so a good person doesn't ask to be loved. a good person is just loved, without having to ask or beg for it. i'm a good person, so why should i ask to be loved? i'm a good person, why am i not loved.
#thinking thoughts are being thunk idk#is this something?#i had difficulties interpreting that mantra so i can understand it#and this is how i understand it#i think yeom mijeong might not agree with this but to me this also applies to people who claim to love you but dont make you feel loved#by putting their words into action. by showing they love you by showing they care for you#so the way i see ''i'm a good person i wont ask to be loved''#is i wont ask for your affection i wont ask you to show you care wont ask you to show up for me#am i not good enough of a person for you to do that without me asking for it?#i understand it's a thin line between communicating your needs and not asking to be loved and simplying wanting to be loved#i also believe there's some bare minimum things you should do. especially after i've communicated with you that theyre important to me#as a baseline to see you do care for me. you do think about me. you do want to see me to talk to me to spend time with me#and you acknowledge it. but leave it there. and continue your inaction#and i'm left in a horrible fucking position bc ur important enough for me to not want to cut you off for this reason#i'm left to sit in that position bc i only have very few people i cherish in my life and most of them act this way#if i were to cut them off i'd be left rotting away by my own#which is better. that or to live with a couple people you know love you but dont show you they do so you have this gaping hole inside you#idk this is just me doing a whole lot of yapping#nesi rants#my liberation notes
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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I went back to rewatch the Brotherhood scenes and grab some screencaps, and honestly I was quite surprised that this line was from Quirin! I had misremembered it as one of Hector’s
I love it though. Quirin’s role in the Brotherhood is criminally underutilized a little bit of a mixed one between Hector’s stark loyalty and Adira’s dissatisfaction with the current state. On the one hand, Quirin has by all signs seeming left the Brotherhood - he’s settled down in another kingdom, started a family, is happily living a farmer’s life.
But at the same time - he has been doing his duty behind the scenes. He’s the one who finds the Sundrop and while he seemingly breaks his oath to warn Frederic about removing it, for all we know he never mentions the Moonstone or the DK - just that removing the flower is a Bad Idea because this scroll says so. (and given that both the scroll & Corona’s ties to Demanitus, I wonder if that’s what led him there)
He probably chose to settle in Old Corona because the flower was removed to keep an eye on things. Probably lots of regrets about the Sundrop being real all along, only for it to be immediately lost. (I wonder if he told Adira)
Then all is quiet for 18 years. And then a year before BEA, the rocks suddenly appear where the flower was (really wonder what the catalyst for this is). Then 6 months later, the lost princess appears. Then 6 more months later her magic hair is back. And the rocks are spreading.
He’s the first one aware of it and.... he does nothing. Says nothing to anyone, just asks for more land when the situation gets bad enough. I think there’s a combination of things preventing him from speaking, but I’d like to think that at least one is him being lawful stupid - He is a knight of the Brotherhood. He will not reveal anything about the Moonstone ever.
#tangled the series#tts quirin#i feel like the effect is slightly weakened by this not being edmund's *dying* wish#since edmund was there to send them off#there's just a certain poignancy to thinking you're fulfilling your duty to the dead while the living in front of you suffer#i feel like i can talk about quirin forever. i feel like he is the brotherhood blorbo i've latched onto the most#these rambles are probably incoherent but i had a lot of thoughts to sort through xD#between this scene and realizing that quirin had a cameo in BEA#on a side note this rewatch has also me notice a couple of things#one being that hector says adira will be a traitor if she leaves the dark kingdom - they haven't been forced to leave yet#so that must stung a lot for him later. i'd like to imagine hector was especially adamant about not leaving#and when he couldn't sway edmund that was when he went into overdrive in his loyalty#since edmund doesn't want anyone in the DK he'll make sure no one gets past him to the DK#and the other thing... Quirin and Adira were both present when Edmund tried to destroy the stone and nearly died. Hector was not :D#no clue where he was but that must have been a hell of a thing to come home to! :D
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i made a post entertaining the Alice-Karen theory before and i still don't know where i stand on believing it. i thought it was a complete crack theory that's just straight up disprovable by canon going into it but the insane number of odd things somehow supporting it, which i apparently never payed attention to before rewatching s4, weird me out (you can also extend it back to further seasons if you genuinely want to buy into it)
i really don't like the "and they're Related!" twist usually so i don't have a particular bias towards the theory being true. but i wanted to check it out for fairness sake to give it a chance (personal preference aside) and now i don't know what i think anymore. it's like. there's some very good arguments you can make against it. but there's also a weird amount of things that DO imply something is going for which we don't have an explanation for yet
but no matter if Karen is actually Alice
i do genuinely believe something was incomplete about Both the flashbacks to the Creel murders we saw. Victors AND Henry's version. because the story we're ultimately shown by Henry makes sense on a surface level but it also directly contradicts the timeline of events it's trying to lay out to us. Henry is either specifically leaving something out when talking to Nancy that would explain the hole in the timeline he subtly leaves OR Henry is Also an unreliable narrator because he genuinely thinks he's telling the true story like Victor did as well
i'm quite ambivalent to the Wheeler-Creel theories but i DO have thoughts on it after looking into it (i'm going to actually make posts about that at some point. arguing for and against it probably). but regardless of whether Karen is actually Alice. Something is sure going on with Alice Creel. even if she ends up being a random girl, s4 was definitely not the last we heard about her with the story we were left
#i seriously need to write an actual post about the timeline fuckery of Henry's recounting of events#because he's either lying intentionally or unaware of something because the chain of events he shows Nancy isn't actually possible#in the order he presents it#and it's not just a pretty significant gap in his timeline but also the way Henry tells us what he did while the events on screen make#what he says... very unlikely to be the full story. you're leaving shit out Henry. Again#actually given the fact that i'm not the Biggest fan of the Creel/Wheeler theory i have WAY too many notes on it#i thought i'd keep an open mind on a s4 rewatch and it spiraled into WAY too many notes i still don't even love the theory that much#but at this point i'm at least trying to be prepared if s5 actually goes there#because with the way things have been set up that theory is either real or supposed to clown on the audience with all the things hinting at#it being intentional misleads for laughs- there's just too many odd choices made and too many things that you can tie into it#alice creel#karen wheeler#creel/wheeler theory#<- there finally made a tag to find these posts i keep sporadically being weird about it so at least i can keep track of the shit i've#actually made posts about
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Nothing like pulling up your notes for an unfinished fic and going "This slaps actually. This is award-winning actually."
#i talk#fic talk#Feeling very sad but been thinking about this fic a lot#it's even better than I remembered#I think I just burnt out when writing it#and by ''notes'' I mean ''I wrote 14k words for this thing hot on the heels of the series it was meant to be a prequel for''#It's a prequel to ''Change In All Things Is Inevitable''#I wrote it with a lot of bitterness about politics and I think that's another reason I burnt out#agh#I also realized I still have my notes I wrote for a TF reboot#and how I'd frame it if I were writing a movie script#which is nice because I thought I lost that#I'll read that later#I haven't been very good at responding to messages for *checks calendar* a while#but I still see people's messages they leave on my stories on Ao3#I always respond to them eventually#and I reread them fairly often when I'm feeling down#It's nice#it helps#if nothing else it always calms my heart a bit#Edit: Good lord I wrote sections of in-universe history books for this fic#no wonder I frickin burnt out
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actually you shouldn't enter an argument with the intention of making the other person see that you're right.
you should go into an argument believing you're right, stating why, and not giving a flying FUCK if the other person agrees with you or not by the end of it.
If you go into an argument trying to prove that you're right you're just covertly asking permission to continue holding a belief.
hold it anyway. crush it like fucking glass and let the blood on your hands be a reminder of your conviction.
#buddydolly#thoughts#note to self#reminders#I'd like to add that if you take this approach and find yourself agreeing with the other person by the end#that's okay too#it is good to listen to people who debate/argue properly#that is by stating their piece and moving the fuck on#not trying to convince you#just saying ''this is my side take it or leave it''#you really really don't have to fucking prove that you're right or die on any hill#it's exhausting and honestly not worth your fucking time
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lol
#txt#tbd#that pers0na person came back to continue arguing with me on my 0 note untagged post . Bye!#i literally said i have no interest arguing about that#like if youre frustrated about that take make your own post theyre claiming shit about me i didnt even say#theyre also acting like the tent scene is the only one in the game that could be read as yosuke being homophobic#literally not even the one I'd been thinking of#and i dont even think yosuke is blatantly homophobic !!! its just 2009 anime humor that didnt age well!!!#and i told them this !!!#and they continued to say they felt justified being violent towards me. a stranger. because apparently i think gay ppl arent allowed to#protect themselves from abusers. WHAT ?#like. i choose to interpret him as a bisexual teenager struggling with internalised homophobia thats what the damn post was about#and honestly it was hardly even about that 90% of the post was me saying i tended to change characters in my head#which is why i dont post meta#i called yosuke homophobic in one throwaway tag and didnt clarify because i thought like 4 people would see it#jts like that twitter post where its like. ummm i misinterpreted your one sentence tweet can you apologize to me for it#leave me ALONE bro i dont know you#i dont block very often but like damn . why do you want to argue with a stranger so bad like reevaluate a little#my entire response to them was like. bro this post is old and you misunderstood what i was saying . and they doubled down#sorry for venting i literally just woke up to them reblogging it again and like. im so tired man
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what.
#i dont normally care too much abt the ratio bc im just here to read tags ppl leave for me#but now tumblr defaults to having the notes opened so i happened to see this#hello??? pretty close to even on ACTUAL art that i enjoyed making?????????#anyways hiiii goodmorning im glad everyone thought this looked awesome#you fools. you were paying too much attention to the blood god to notice i completely BS'd techno's pose#I COULDNT FIGURE IT OUT SO I JUST WENT ''........well he's not the center of attention so-''#AND IT WORKED!#it doesnt look that bad kfhkfh it's just The One Thing i'd wanna fix if i redid it#chat
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I am... irritated.
[Went to supermarket with B, rant below]
[know that we did however get some honeybuns and 7up and that was pleasant. I don't think I personally would have gotten the same things though; in hindsight it feels even stranger to be the one carrying everything.]
I believe it were that 🌼 was out initially, especially as we were craving something sweet. I do vaguely remember hearing our voice was slightly different there while B took us out (he needed to move/walk for relief, went to the supermarket as it was easier).
We ran into a homeless man and ended up helping him out with getting some fruit (he eventually came in after a while and got what he wanted specifically, which I am glad for as we were uncertain what specifically ('fruit cup by the cakes' was not specific enough and he got something else in the end--similar to how I had wanted to get something fruot adjacent for him anyhow)).
The reason I am irritated however, is not the homeless man. It is that at some point B had started to text someone important (this is something causing him great mental and emotional and quite possibly physical anguish), and he requested we walk ahead. We were fine initially, but any moment we stopped was met with "what are you doing?" And pleads to continue. Once he even requested that we move faster. I resolved that we simply needed to wander around.
This was greatly bothersome, if you didn't know. There were a couple moments when stopping was indeed necessary--fixing our outfit so that it did not cause issues later, for example. It is highly displeasurable to have someone insist that you keep doing something, even despite the understanding we have that he is going through a great deal of turmoil.
Even now that we are home things have not resolved. He is speaking verbally to whomever is of great importance, and gets irrationally agitated whenever we are visible at all. He requested for us to stay in our room for this. Yes, I understand why, but when I am simply walking and paying you no mind, YOU DO NOT DEMAND THAT I HURRY UP AND LEAVE REPEATEDLY. I do not owe it to you that I scurry away like a frightened little animal for your own comfort, even if you are having a tough time. Do not treat me as such.
#sepiasys.txt#rant#I will add on a few details of note; one is that he forgot to get change so I had to pull from my own cash to give the man (because he did#in fact want a little cash and B said that he didnt have cash on him so he would get it after buying something.)#Another is that after all the irritation; when we were walking about (primarily heading home/leaving the store) I felt shorter than I'd like#It was particularly noticeable when heading downhill for some reason but in retrospect I believe I must've felt it in store at some point.#The last bit I feel worth mentioning is that two strangers were on (electric?) scooters. One of them said loudly 'BEEP BEEP!'#Likely to garner our attention though I am unsure if it was mine or B's. But they drove past and I felt that they were unkind.#More that they felt superior; entitled brats due to their mobility. It was bothersome. I thought/believe that they have zero right to act as#if we are inferior or simply obstacles--in their way--for something so small as simply walking. If I felt it I would trip you intentionally.#Ah but it is all passed; for they were gone soon and there were more important matters. On the plus side; everyone has a small bounty.#I do hope that they/we enjoy it. I wish that we were able to take brownies that were just made however. But B is being rude.#I still understand it is due to these overwhelming feelings he has and the toll it takes on him. But also; do not treat me with such disdain
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ghost knows he’s too rough and impatient with sex. knows he won’t know how to please you properly. knows he can’t possibly do things right with you, knowing you’ve never done this before. but god, he wants to. he wants to treat you how you deserve. never thought he’d be so desperate to fuck someone good and slow like he does with you.
so he goes to price. the one man who will know all the right ways to please a lady properly. asks him to show him how to take care of you. tells him he doesn't know how to care for someone else's needs, at least with someone inexperienced like you. tells him he needs to be instructed. to see just how he should work you.
you’re nervous at first, thinking it’s an absolutely insane idea, but you can’t hide the wetness along your panties as you sit on ghost’s lap, back pressed against his chest, legs spread, his knuckle dragging down your warmth. price sits back in his chair, telling ghost exactly how to move his fingers, paying close attention to your body's minuscule movements, the way your brows furrow when ghost moves a certain way, or your eyelashes fluttering.
and this was supposed to be a strictly hands-off approach… but god, watching ghost fumble, unable to maintain the slow speed you need, keeping you from reaching your orgasm, has price on edge. he leans forward, rolling his chair with him, and tells ghost to stop. tells him to watch and to pay close attention. price tears your panties off and your eyes go wide at the contact. you swallow, expecting ghost to be furious, but his hands only settle around you and he takes notes as he watches his captain work.
price runs his thumb up your slit, circling your nub, and tells ghost to hold your thighs apart when you unconsciously try to clench them. then his finger is sinking into you and your head falls back against ghost's chest, eyes shut. you moan and you feel ghost harden beneath you. “how’s that feel, sweetheart?” price asks you. you babble out incoherently, price adding a second finger, and chuckling darkly at your response.
it becomes too much, his fingers thrusting in and out of you, his other hand rubbing your clit, ghost's fingers digging into the softness of your thighs as he forces them apart. “ohmygod,” you slur, “m’gonna—“ price smirks, his eyes darkening as he watches you orgasm, your body clenching around his fingers shoved deep in your heat. "talk her through it," price tells ghost. so ghost does. you're shaking still and ghost rubs his hands over your exposed skin. "that's it, baby. you're doin' s'good," he praises.
"whata fuckin' sight," price mumbles to himself, his fingers leaving you empty. you steady your breathing, coming down from your high, completely limp in ghost's arms. price can see the way ghost's eyes have gone dark, his pupils swallowing his irises whole. knows ghost doesn't know how to be soft. sees the feral need to ram himself into you overtaking his features. "gonna take it slow with her, yeah?" price asks.
ghost breathes rapidly out, his hips begging to buck up against you. he knows he wouldn't be able to control himself if you let him fuck you. so he answers honestly. "not sure I'd be able to."
price tsks, sitting back in thought, his eyes roving over your spent body. you suddenly feel shy, wanting to close your legs, but ghost's arms tighten on you. "need me t'break her in?" price finally asks after several long beats of silence.
ghost grinds up against you, his hand sliding into your hair and pulling your head to the side so he can kiss your neck. your eyes flutter at his attempts to be so delicate with you. "want the captain here to be your first time, love?" ghost asks against your skin. you stutter when you answer. "don't you want to be?" "course I do. but I won't go easy on ya. I'd hate to ruin you, sweet girl. price will take it nice n' slow. just like you need." and after, you'll be ready to take ghost. ready to adjust to his size.
you swallow hard, ghost's hands escaping and clawing at your clothed chest. you nod. "o-okay."
price stands from his chair and begins to undo his belt. "come sit on my desk, sweetheart."
cod masterlist
#ghost angst#ghost#simon riley#simon riley headcanons#simon ghost riley headcanons#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost mw3#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#simon riley x reader#simon riley smut#john price#captain price#john price x reader#john price headcanons#cod mw3#cod fanfic#cod headcanons#captain john price#captain price smut
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Forgive me people on ao3... forgive me... people on ao3... forgive me
#sals-soda#pov me commiting to a chapter two of multiple fics and not completing any of them#people are so nice ok. they leave such nice comments. and then i just break their hearts </3#also unrelated note#but i saw someone just comment ''kudos motherfucker'' on another's work anonymously and honestly.#i feel like i might start doing that when i'm feeling too stupid to write an actually well thought-out and good comment#because if someone commented that on my work i'd be pretty happy tbh
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✎ all of me
- gojo satoru x reader
you understand that some things in marriage just needs compromise. and he soon understands too, when you're at your most vulnerable and he fails to be by your side when you need him the most
genre: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship (you're married & have a son!) argument, feral gojo, mentions of injury & blood, fluff
note: if it isn't obvious by now i'm in the mood of angst-hurt/comfort this week HEHE :)) this is longer than the usual love entry, so i hope you'll enjoy it!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
Bantering with your husband is not uncommon―in fact, it happens on daily basis.
"Satoru― I'm talking to you!"
But having serious arguments with him is another matter entirely.
Your fists tightening at your sides, facing his unamused expression. How insufferable is he? You told him that everyday, but right now, he's truly surpassed previous levels of infuriating behavior.
"And I can hear you, sweetheart," he retorted, casting a glance your way. The term of endearment he used for you sounding almost like a sneer to your ears and you felt offended.
"I don't think you're taking this seriously," you griped, trying to calm your emotions, still balling your hands. "Someone is following our son on his way back from school―how can you be this... flippant?!"
Numerous photograph of your son exiting the school building from different angles had arrived in your mailbox, and if it wasn't a creepy warning from those who placed a target on his back, then you didn't know what it was.
Satoru let out an exasperated grunt. "I'm telling you, I'll pick him up for the rest of the week. No one will lay a hand on him."
You gritted your teeth. "And I'm telling you, they're trying to make you do just that. Even morons know not to mess with you― they're leaving hints, and you're taking the bait!"
Contrary to what you believed, Satoru felt just as worried as you upon knowing that someone might have marked his precious son, who was now six years old and had recently started attending preschool.
But this is where your approaches differ. You are always the cautious one, overanalyzing each detail, while he leans towards being impulsive, often resorting to brute force.
"Who do you think can stand a chance against me?" Satoru challenged with a real sneer this time. "Remember my words, wife, no one is going to hurt me, you or our baby. I'll end them where they stand."
"That's not the point!" you threw your hands in the air, irate. "Satoru, they're going to take advantage of―"
"Look, I don't want to argue with you." Satoru's gaze was hard on you, his tone clipped, and it made you stiffen. "His safety comes first— and you, of all people, should know I'd never let anything happen to him. You need to quit nitpicking and have a little faith in me."
"I know you are more than capable, but you are not―!"
And then he said it, and his words piercing through you like a knife―
"Don't compare me to you," your husband remarked a little too coldly. "I can do things you can't. Just rest your pretty head, I'll take care of the rest."
Nevermind that he blatantly dismissed your skills as a jujutsu sorcerer, nevermind that he totally didn't listen to you at all―he just went and made himself look like some sort unparalleled god, forgetting how much his hubris could actually take him.
And all these thoughts only made you angrier.
"So be it then." You tried desperately to hold yourself from shaking because you'd be damned if you showed it to him. "A word of advice, Satoru: beware of your arrogance."
With those words, you spun around, marching off toward your son's room, because no way in hell was you going to sleep with that obnoxious prick tonight.
But when you caught the sight of your baby scuttling away from the gap in the door, a fragment of your heart crumbled. Oh. He has seen it all.
In Gojo Satoru's mind, he is made of two things: a powerful jujutsu sorcerer and a family man.
With his immense strength, comes a certain responsibility. And with that responsibility, certain habits have formed. If you just took a few seconds to breathe and looked back throughout the past decade he'd spent with you, you'd know that in fact―
It was also his way to shield you. Satoru stands by the principle that you and his little boy must be protected at all cost, and he most certainly would pull all stops to do just that.
But frankly, he couldn't deny that he felt insulted by how defiant you were. Did you really think he would let anyone ever touch your―his―son? He wouldn't, they'd meet his wrath first and you should've known that.
Still, something akin to guilt nudged at his conscience as he lay alone in your shared bed that night. It felt strange not having you cuddling him. He felt empty.
. . .
None of your shampoo-scented pillow, none of your nightdresses, all of it replaced by a single photo hanging in the wall and the urn of ashes—
Abruptly, he jerked his eyes open, shaken from the most dreadful nightmare he had experienced—
Of you no longer by his side.
“Mama.” Your little boy looked up to you with his doe-blue eyes in the next day, his hand gripping yours. “I’ll be fine.”
You were accompanying him to the preschool. While Satoru had requested Ichiji to drive him, you insisted on tagging along to keep a watchful eye as well. You'd leave your husband to pick him up later just as he wanted.
“Huh?” you turned to him, tilting your head.
“I'll stick by Uncle Ichiji's side the entire time,” he replied in a murmur. “And papa will be picking me up too later. If there are bad guys, they'll get him first.”
You bit your lip, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you. Your boy witnessed your outburst last night and hadn't inquired about it until now, and even then, he was trying to reassure you.
“So… don’t fight.” His round, cerulean eyes then darted towards you, blinking hesitantly, causing you to catch your breath.
He looks so much like Satoru. At six years old, he was the spitting image of him, except his personality—he took after you in that area. It was as if your son was a softer, more innocent version of him. And your heart twisted, remembering your argument last night.
Don't compare me to you.
With a sigh, you bent down to be eye-level with him and managed a smile, holding both of his little hands. “I’m sorry… it was just misunderstanding last night, okay? Don’t worry.”
“…really?”
“Really. Mama and papa were just tired,” you tried to reason, a thin smile on your face. "It's going to be okay, just like you said, yeah? Papa will beat the bad guys out there."
“Will he pull through...? If they bring a knife, and he's just there laughing, they can cut him.”
A giggle escaped your lips at your baby's innocent wonderings, easing the ache in your heart as you recalled how Satoru humored him in so many ways.
You gently poked your son in the cheek. "Nah, do you remember what he always goes on about?"
He puffed up his cheeks in response, his expression turning sour as if combing through memories of hundreds of shenanigans Satoru had instigated to recall his words. You let out a hearty chuckle, finding him so adorable.
"He's strong, he's going to win. He always does."
"Oh. Mmm." Your son scrunched up his nose cutely, before looking away and squeezing your hand. A sincerer smile bloomed in your lips, heart melting at the sight of your growing munchkin.
You will protect him. And maybe you could patch things up with Satoru later that night. Maybe yesterday you were just too paranoid.
That was the plan... at least until your son suddenly screamed—someone wrenching him from your grasp. Without a second thought, you reacted, flipping the attacker away from you and him.
. . . and that was the beginning of how everything started to unravel so terribly that day.
"Gojo-san...! There's been an incident!"
He got that call right after he finished some things with Yaga. Satoru teleported to the preschool right away, only to be greeted by a scene of utter chaos.
Several teachers stood outside the building, and police officers were present at the scene. It was all a blur of cursed energy until his eyes caught sight of—
His little boy, red-faced and obviously in fear, was clinging to Ichiji, who was frantically making calls. Some teachers gathered around him were seemingly trying to coax him to speak.
He didn't waste a second to dash towards him, tearing through the crowd.
"Are you okay? Hey, buddy, what happened?" Satoru pulled him away from Ichiji and turned him over, crouching to his level to check for any signs of injury or harm.
And upon seeing him actually here, his son's eyes immediately welled up with tears, and Satoru felt a chill run through his veins as he broke into sobs, which quickly turned into heart-wrenching wails.
"Mama—! F-find mama—!" the little boy choked out through his tears, clutching onto his shirt tightly and crumbling in his embrace, thoroughly inconsolable.
Satoru's sharp gaze quickly swept over the scene, seeking any clues, while he tightened his hold over him. It was then he noticed traces of your cursed energy mingled with blood.
They hurt you.
"Hey, kiddo—listen to me, it's going to be alright, yeah?" Satoru said, gently pulling away to wipe away his tears, holding the boy's face tenderly in his hands. "Go with Ichiji for now, okay? I'm going to bring mama back, I promise."
He didn't need to be told twice. Your son is always obedient when it matters the most. He gave him a small nod, still shaking with tears.
"Don't worry," he flashed a reassuring smile and ruffled his hair. "I'm the strongest, remember? I'll get her back," he vowed once again. "She'll be fine. Wait for me until then, yeah?"
Ichiji was ready to leave as he had called for those in headquarters as backup in case anything were to happen again. Trusting him to keep his son safe, Satoru took off as soon as he could no longer see the sight of his son's tear-streaked face trying to watch him as the car pulled away.
"I won't repeat myself— where is my wife?"
Satoru wasn't playing this time. He skipped past taunts and just plain threats. These little fries, he thought.
The man he held by the throat was in a lot of distress. "Hyaaa! It's him! Please, please, let me go! I'm acting under orders!"
He then flung him across the wall— might have added more cursed energy than necessary.
At the moment, his entire focus was on trying to locate you. He couldn't let his mind wander to anything else; in fact, he didn't permit himself to.
It didn't take him long to piece together the general location of where you were through the residual of your cursed energy. They stationed several hooligans in this abandoned warehouse to stall him, but he got rid of them quickly and he could sense that you were close by.
"It's Gojo Satoru!"
"Run! Ruuuun!"
What a pain. They picked the wrong person to mess with, and Satoru's lips curled into a manic grin as he opened his palm, pulling them in—
"Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue."
Chaos erupted as the building collapsed around him. He hoped you would realize he was here and manage to avoid getting caught in the wreckage. He was sure you'd know though.
And true to his thoughts, soon he found you— blasting your attacker away with a powerful kick.
Satoru thought that you were a sight to behold, really. And he was about to call out to you when he felt it.
It happened almost in an instant. The way his heart dropped to his stomach, and how his body reacted, barely whispering the incantation for Red as he shot it at something lurking behind you—
At that moment, the only thing you were aware of was the foul stench of a curse. Time seemed to stop before the overwhelming force of Red expelled it away from you.
But before then, you experienced a searing, white-hot pain that scorched through your flesh and pierced your abdomen—
"Y/N―fuck―!" The voice that came from Satoru's throat was raw and laden with panic.
He pulled you against him protectively as you collapsed, blinded by pain. He immediately felt warmth spreading across his lower body—your blood was rapidly drenching his shirt, and he felt a shiver down his spine.
You held onto him tightly while suppressing your scream, feeling every bit of your strength drain away along with the dark crimson blood that poured out of you.
"―toru―" you managed to croak amidst the scalding pain, curling and whimpering in his hold.
"Hey― sweetheart, please―" his voice rang in your ears, as he pressed down on your wound. His hands were shaking, and you clawed at him and groaned in agony. "I-I'm taking you back now― You're going to be alright, yeah?"
The wound was beyond anything you had experienced before, causing you to cry out and gasp for air. It was almost as if something fried your insides. It was hard to stay conscious.
"I've got you now. You're going to be okay." His voice was coarse, as he hurriedly carried you out. And he tried not to let the full-blown panic take over him when your body went limp in his arms, your breaths slowing, head lolling in his chest.
"You're going to be alright! You hear me, sweetheart? You're going to make it. Our baby― he's waiting for you. I promise you, you're going to be fine―"
Perhaps he was trying to tell that to himself, because despite the excruciating pain, a wave of reassurance washed over you.
You were in the arms of the strongest sorcerer alive, what more could you possibly afraid of?
A special grade curse. They had actually unleashed a potent curse and likely aimed at him as their final card—until it veered off course and struck you, leaving a searing gash across your abdomen.
Satoru felt numb as he sat in the waiting room in his bloodied uniform. You got hurt so terribly right in front of his eyes, and all he could feel was this profound void that seemed to bore through him and pierced his soul.
He was supposed to protect you. He said it to your face that nothing and no one would touch your son, and it was in his wedding vows that he'd protect you with his life too.
And yet what happened?
If only he was faster. If only he was able to pull you to him and protect you with his infinity—none of this shit would have happened.
Seeing your face twisted in agony and smeared with blood made him feel sick to his stomach. Inside that OR, you hovered on the brink of life and death, and he was here, unable to do anything.
Satoru rested his head against the wall, feeling a sharp pain surge through his chest. He remembered waking up to your face every morning, the way your touches felt, and how you had brightened his world for the past decade. If he lost you now... he wouldn't survive it. He would wreck anything, everything—
"Papa!" and came his voice of reason. Satoru immediately discarded his bloodstained jacket by instinct, throwing it away before his boy could see it, with Ichiji and Megumi closely trailing behind.
His son crashed himself into him and threw his little arms around his torso, crying—and in that very second, the thump of his heart sounded louder in his ears. Somehow it felt like a knife that twisted his insides.
"Hey, kiddo." Satoru repositioned him so that he would sit on his lap and hugged him, patting him in the back. "There, there... it's alright, yeah? Mama is inside, she'll get better soon."
Your little boy pulled away and wiped his eyes, and Satoru chuckled as he helped him blow his nose. His child was incredibly adorable, and his actions mirrored yours to such an extent that it made Satoru's heart soften.
"Mama g-got hurt trying to... tell me to g-go..." the boy suddenly said amidst his quieter sniffles. "And... she s-said... papa— i-is strong and g-going to win..."
You believe in him. Ignoring the ache in his chest, only able to reply him with a "Yeah..."
Not long after, Shoko emerged from the operating room and informed him that the surgery had been successful, though you would likely need to have a one-week stay in the hospital for observation. He intended to move you to the VIP suite and stay the night there, but then he remembered his son, who was holding his hand.
Satoru crouched down and patted him in the head, fixing him a smile. "See? Mama is okay, but she needs to sleep here to get even better. Now you go home first with big brother Megumi, yeah?"
Your son adored Megumi and often begged you to let him stay over at his place, but this time he looked hesitant, fiddling with his little fingers. "Really? Mama will be home... soon?"
"Mm-hmm, the more she sleeps here, the faster she'll go back home, alright?"
And with that, his baby nodded and Satoru turned to Megumi with a nod. "Thank you for this, Megumi."
The boy whose life he had once saved on some sort of a whim, now grown up and shared the same concern he had for you, Fushiguro Megumi had never before witnessed his benefactor expressing such sincere gratitude for anything before.
When you came to, your body felt as heavy as lead.
The discomfort in your abdomen made you flinch, and you almost let out a groan until you turned to your side and saw him.
Satoru was asleep while sitting in the sofa next to your bed, dark circles evident under his eyes. It might have been your imagination, but his cheeks appeared to be slightly red too.
You tried to recall what had happened to you when it came back—you urging your son to run away as you let yourself being taken away, almost escaping from that warehouse, the flash of excruciating pain, and Satoru's stricken voice.
So he must've been here since last night. Any remnants of your disagreement seemed to have vanished, seeing him there with you, barely covering himself with the blanket, with a frown still marking his forehead even in his sleep.
You wanted to reach out to him until the movement sent a sharp jab to your stomach and you cried out a bit.
In that split second, Satoru's eyes jerked open, and realizing you were awake, his gaze locked onto yours. "Y/N—" But your strained whimper and expression told him everything. "Does it hurt? I-I'll get Shoko, wait—"
And then he hit the call button. Throughout it all, he kept a firm grip on your hand for reassurance. A few minutes later, Shoko arrived and examined your wound, subsequently administering painkillers to alleviate your discomfort.
"It's going to leave a scar," she explained grimly, showing the mangled skin where the curse had made its mark on you, and seeing that, Satoru clenched his fists.
Shoko sighed, empathizing with her friend's frustration. "It's going to fade with time, don't worry. You did well, Gojo. You brought her here quickly. Had you been even slightly later, there could have been an irreversible damage to her organs."
But your husband remained quiet, unable to bring himself to look at you. And after she left, you tried to finally voice your question to him.
"O-our—"
"He's fine," Satoru immediately answered, squeezing your hand. "Our boy is fine. I'll tell Megumi to visit later—he's with him."
A sigh of relief came out of you. "Thank... goodness."
But his expression seemed to fall even further after hearing your response. Satoru settled himself on the seat next to you and lowered the rail on your bed, allowing you to be even closer to each other.
"Do you not feel any pain anymore?" he asked then, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. He looked so sad, a stark contrast of how he usually was, and it bugged you.
"No... I feel fine now."
"Then, can I hug you?"
Of course you nodded without a second thought, and carefully, he wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you close and resting his face on the crook of your neck.
You knew what it was. Satoru was still visibly shaken by what had happened to you, and he wasn't great at expressing himself, so he tried to find consolation through this physical closeness instead.
"I'm okay..." you patted his back, trying to convince him. "I'm alright now, yeah?" But to your surprise, suddenly his whole body started to shake. "Satoru...?"
“…’m sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he nuzzled you. “I shouldn't... have let you get this hurt...”
It always amazes you how Satoru always gets this distressed whenever you sustain any injury. You had seen him cry precisely two times now—once after you gave birth to your son and experienced severe bleeding, and now.
"It's not your fault..." you whispered in response. "You... have protected me well."
He held you tighter, his tone faltering. "I didn't."
"You have..." you stroked his hair, trying to convince him. "I'm still here, aren't I?"
Hearing you say that made Satoru's chest ache. The thought of something like this happening to you was unimaginable, and now that it had, he couldn't come to terms with seeing you hurt right in front of him.
"Don't—" he choked on his voice, his breath trembled against your neck. "Don't ever put yourself in danger again. If something happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself..."
You couldn't make that promise. Despite the pleading in his voice, you knew deep down that your son's life—and his—meant more, and given the chance, you would obviously save theirs for yours.
“Satoru... I love you, you know that, right?”
So you simply embraced him close, hoping that in this life, you would live long enough that he would never have to see you like this again.
Epilogue
"Papa, how do I become stronger?"
Satoru blinked when his son asked him that so innocently and curiously, taken aback as he led him to your private room later that afternoon. "Oh? What brought this on?"
His first and only son, a perfect miniature of himself, pursed his lips. "I don't want Mama to get hurt again..."
Satoru's heart warmed at his baby’s sincere words, and despite himself, he chuckled.
"What's funny?" his son leveled a glare at him. "I'm being serious."
"Well, aren't you such a good boy? Don't worry, kiddo, I'll teach you my ways~"
"What ways?"
"Well, no need to rush, pumpkin. First of all, you will have to harness your skills and then you have to be more like me—"
"Do I have to be like you…? Is there no other way?"
"—? What's wrong with being more like me?"
"Everything...?"
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